How the Council Has Changed My Life

Here's another thing government service does to people: It changes the way they speak. I didn't realize this myself until my family confronted me with my latest addition to the Rodeback Family Rules of Conduct.

RODEBACK FAMILY COUNCIL RULES AND REGULATIONS

1. Time. Family Council shall be held every Sunday evening, commencing at 8:45 p.m. sharp.

2. Attendance. All members of the Rodeback Family (hereinafter "Family"), including the youngest members, shall be expected to attend.

3. Seating. Dad shall sit at the head of the table. Other members of the Family shall sit in their customary dinner places. All Family members shall occupy their assigned seats until Dad pronounces the conclusion of Family Council. Members shall sit in "listening position" (i.e. sitting with respectful posture and facing the Family).

4. Advance preparation. Dad shall have prepared a print copy of the Airset weekly calendar. Mom shall have prepared entertainments for the youngest Family members.

5. Governance. Dad shall chair the Family Council. The chair shall have power to conduct the calendar session and introduce other topics of discussion. No other member of the Family may change the subject without the chair’s permission, respectfully sought.

6. Conduct. No rude or derogatory comments by or about any member of the Family shall be tolerated at any time. Interruptions shall be disincentivized. Family members shall keep all hands, feet, and other pertinent bodily appendages to themselves at all times.

7. Refreshments. Refreshments, where applicable, shall be reserved until the conclusion of Family Council, and shall only be shared with those whose behavior has been deemed appropriate by Mom.

Personally, I think it's perfect.